SATURDNATE NIGHT PODCAST

I’ve taken it upon myself to start up a podcast. I’ve just finished episode 3, which you can find over here at this location. It’s all about podcasting, blogging, social medias, blogcasting, listener questions, and maybe some news for flavor. And it all happens vaguely on Saturday nights, probably!

If you have your own topic you’d like me to feature, drop me a line or give me a call. Anything can happen when you combine Saturday night, Twitter, and podcasting!!!

Here are the other episodes, if you’d like to catch up on your backlog.

EPISODE 1 – HERE WE GO!!!

EPISODE 2 – CONSPIRACY!!!

EPISODE 3 – ALIENS, SOCIAL MEDIA, AND THE PLANE

EPISODE 4 – DORK HORSE, HOLIDAYS, ARTING YOUR POD

EPISODE 5 – CYBERBULLYING, STALKING, THE THEATRE OF GAMING

EPISODE 6 – AMERINATE SPRING: E3 PREDICTIONS, DEPRESSION IS SERIOUS, JRPGs

EPISODE 7 – PUAs, BMWs, KIMYE, BUTTS AND POOPING

EPISODE 8 – GOOP NATE RANTING

The Ugly Organ by Cursive

A look back at The Ugly Organ

I love this album. Have since the day I heard it 11 years ago.

PointPointPointPointPoint 5/5

I saw someone the other day say in this review on Amazon (full disclosure: I will receive a referral bonus for a purchase from this) paraphrasing, but, that this album is the true followup to Pinkerton, and that’s exactly how I feel about it. I haven’t liked an emo album before or since, even Cursive, which I’ve tried and can’t get into like The Ugly Organ.

Okay, fine, if you have to count Death Cab, then I guess I have. And Thursday’s War All the Time. And At The Drive-In. Look, shut up.

Anyway, if you find yourself in suicidal times, you can do worse than listening to a song over and over whose chorus says “I’m staying alive” over and over.

I’ve been obsessed with this album again at least twice in my life now. 2nd time has been lately. 1st time was a decade ago when it came out. I’m not sure why I’ve been playing it over and over again, but I have. Maybe I just needed a loud, angry, sad album again, or maybe I’m understanding it deeper now that I’m older.

I’m still single, and don’t plan on that changing anytime soon. I’m starting to understand the desire to settle down – at least on some level. I think that might be driving it a bit. Especially Sierra and that wish – the tiny bit eating at you on dark nights – that wish you had take a different path long ago; a path where you wouldn’t be so … alone.

Or it could be something else. Or nothing. Maybe it’s just a good album. I’m struggling to find the words.

AND SCREAMED, LIAR! LIAR!
AND HIS WOODEN BODY FLOATED AWAY
HE JUST DRIFTED AWAY

A Nerd’s Life

It’s a bit weird for a grown man to ask another “Have you seen Ice Age?” No, I haven’t. I’m single with no kids, and I’m not 7. Until this weekend, I hadn’t seen A Bug’s Life or Ratatouille either.

When would I? There really isn’t a good time to go, “you know what? I feel like watching this kids movie about ants.” Well anyway, this weekend was that time.

A Bug’s Life is tedious, ugly, and boring. I’m judging it harshly I know, as it’s 15 years old, and just can’t compete with Up and Wall-E. But here we are. It pioneered the way forward, or whatever. Anyway, there’s no reason to watch this movie at this point unless you literally are a kid. Or are watching it with one. Or are forced at gunpoint to watch some movie, any movie, about insects – and A Bee Movie is already rented at Blockbuster. I haven’t seen it either, but I’ll pick it up next time I go into Blockbuster.

Ratatouille is better, and much newer. But I still don’t feel like I was missing much. If you haven’t seen it, watch it after a decade or so when you’re out of other old movies to watch, and you’re too depressed to go outside.

I still haven’t seen Ice Age. I played the game for about 45 minutes once, though. It wasn’t great.

Anna and Kristoff from Disney's Frozen

The Princess and the Slob: Thoughts on: Frozen

I’m trying to think of a way Disney’s animated movie Frozen could have not disappointed me, and I’m not coming up with one. It’s cool for what it is – a Disney movie about a princess whose sister has magical powers, and thus is kept as a shut-in until they’re inevitably discovered. If you’ve seen one movie about a Disney princess, you’ve still seen them all. Frozen does nothing original.

I don’t like pulp. In any of its forms. When people were raving about The Avengers, Iron Man, Transformers, I was fighting not to yawn in their faces. I understand why people enjoy watching fictional creatures punch each other (sort of, in camera angles that hint at violence instead of actually showing it), but it doesn’t appeal to me.

I think a movie needs to either make a statement, or be very original for me to enjoy it.  I enjoyed Shoot Em Up for what it was – a weird action movie. I like Crank for being so over the top as to be impossible to take seriously. It’s possible for me to enjoy something without anything deeper behind it. Frozen didn’t succeed in that regard, for me.

I went and saw The Avengers in the theater, as I succumbed to the praise being heaped upon it. Something similar happened here, in which I felt I would be better informed by seeing this movie. I suppose I am.

There are those that berate me for denigrating “blockbusters” – repeatedly, I might add – but, well, if you’re going to waste two hours of my life, at least do it for a reason. The best I can usually muster is “it was okay”, when what I really mean is “it was conservative, traditional bullshit espousing beliefs I fundamentally don’t agree with, and I wish I could make it not exist”, but I don’t say that.

This is me, except the ice is social anxiety and depression.
This is me, except the ice is social anxiety and depression.

Some vague metaphors for mental illness and a ending where all the good guys are happy and the villains are attacked and discarded aren’t enough to pull Frozen above similar pablum. There is very little chance in this movie that anything truly bad is going to happen, and when it does – the early death of both princesses’ parents, in a sailing accident in a storm – they are not mourned. In fact, Anna only cares that they’re dead because it means her life has to change.

Frozen is executed well, with excellent performances by Kristen Bell and, well, the other people in it who I can’t name. There are moments where the Uncanny Valley reared its head and made me cringe a bit – particularly in identifying moments of motion capture where Bell’s real performance shone through a little too well. But for the most part, it’s forgivable.

If you have children, they’ll probably enjoy Frozen and watch it again and again. Which is what Disney aims for. It’s a beautiful movie with likeable but safe characters, easily dislikable villains (of whom few actually exist here), a straightforward plot that has no chance of going off the Script of Americana, a couple of wacky sidekicks in Olaf the talking snowman and Sven the Reindeer, and the moral is decent enough – accept people with differences (as long as they’re pretty white girls. There are no other characters in this movie who dare to stick above the crowd, outside of the trolls who don’t interact with non-main character humans. Maybe the trolls are a stand in for people of color, who do not appear in this movie otherwise.)

A 30-something single man isn’t Disney’s market here, and I can confirm there’s no reason for me to have watched it absent curiosity about the public’s love for it, or wanting to be in-the-know. If you’re similar in age and constitution, don’t bother. If you’re a 7 year old, why are you reading this website? Go to bed. Then watch Frozen tomorrow, if you’re so inclined.

Just make sure, young one, that you remember that, in the real world, there are people who aren’t white. And most people don’t accept mental illness as readily as they would if all you did was freeze a pond sometimes.

cake1

I’m a superstar artist

I’ve been working on a 6th album. Chiptune inspired, to a degree. You should probably be surprised it’s my 6th because no one’s hardly ever heard the other 5. The 5th, in fact, I’ve never sent to anyone or let anyone hear.

It’s a concept album, of sorts. As far as an album without singers or lyrics can be a concept album.

Anyway, here’s my latest track. There are a few others I’ve already put up on soundcloud, if you’re into that sort of thing. No judgement here.

Reviews and a Review Policy

This isn’t some professional reviews website mecca where I have 12 hours to spend on a review. It’s a personal site where I will throw up some thoughts and leave it.

I plan on using the ol’ 5 star system. However, I don’t believe it can be equated with a 10 point system. You can’t multiply stars and translate. So uh, don’t do that.

I’ll also probably be talking more about things I really like, so there’ll be more 5s than most sites would dole out. I also, well, hate a lot of things, so I might decide to rant about a 1. It’s easier to come up with cogent thoughts about things you feel strongly about.

I will update reviews if I find it necessary. I don’t feel like I need to write four pages about that.

That’s about it for now. Sounds good. Eh, I give this post 3 stars.

Welcome back again

I’m getting the one-man-band back together. I’ve been thinking about starting a weblog, a real one – that I update on a regular basis. I’m going to just do it here.

This is probably the 20th time I’ve rebooted this site. We’ll see if it sticks this time. I intend on doing short-to-medium music, movie, and game reviews. Maybe books. Just hold on and we’ll work out together what happens. I may be formal, and I may just do whatever I want. Which was the spirit of old-school E/N in the first place, which is now dead. Probably for good reason. People are boring. And the term came to mean “we’re seventeen, and boy howdy, can you tell”. Those kids all use tumblr now and post pics about how Mr Potato Head is ableist.

Maybe this will end up being a running collection of boston creme pie pics. They’re pretty good. I approve. Five stars.

The original mission statement of BP was, well, nothing. I wanted a site that ran on dynamically updatable software, and so I figured out how to do it and made one. It was never meant to be serious. I linked goatse in my fourth post.

The background image is from 2000 or 2001 era BP, and we gonna do this completely old school. If necessary, I can buy a modem on eBay and complain about it not working. I’m also willing – possibly able – to sit in cheese.

So, get ready chumps. Here comes nothing.

Donate to Japan! And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control

Somebody stole my credit card number, so as far as I’m concerned this whole planet can go straight to hell.

I’ve stopped watching The Daily Show because it pisses me off too much. It feels like somebody should come and take care of the Regressives. Like, Captain Planet or the Romulans or some shit. Put that stupid heart kid to work, he’s not busy. And somebody probably needs to find out where Water was last Friday.

Every time I try to think about Scott Walker my brain replaces him with Scott Brown, and I get doubly pissed off. I don’t see how what he did was any better than Blagojevich. It was certainly a lot more evil, and the mic recording him wasn’t hidden. In fact it was hooked up to some copper controlled by one of the biggest companies in the US. But this knob goblin is not only still in office, he doesn’t look to be leaving any time soon.

Speaking of piles of failure, Goldman Sachs. I’m not sure what contracts they had to sign to be able to rape the vagina of capitalism with a rusty machete like they have but I’d like a cut of that. Actually I wouldn’t, because I like having mirrors in my apartment and I have sleep apnea so I already have problems at night. But I would like to be rich, and have enough money to give people AIDS or whatever, like they do. I wouldn’t really give people AIDS. I just want the option.

Hey guys I found this awesome pharmacy at www.cvs.com . Check it out. Holy penis, that steak is straight off the cow! Note: I am not affiliated with CVS, except that that’s where I buy my crazy pills.

I hate this New Internet shit. Citing your sources and disclosing funding or whatever. This site is fueled by my crappy programming and a lot of pent up madness. That’s how it always used to be. It went without saying. Back in my day, you faked your death with a webcam and nobody cared if you were really dead, and we liked it. We loved it! Yes, my posts are still going to be 90s SNL references, except now they’re ten years older. Deal with it.

Somebody stole my credit card number, so as far as I’m concerned this whole planet can go straight to hell.

Treat Me Like the Princess I Am

Lately I’ve been trying to commit Suicide by Burrito. That’s when you keep going to Chipotle for lunch despite what it does to your insides. For those of you not privileged enough to have a Chipotle near you, I will explain. Imagine Taco Bell, but good. Now imagine shitting your pants like six times the next day.

It was terrible. I was single-handedly financing Mr. Charmin’s new yacht. You see, I imagine all companies to be ran by some guy named after them, and he wears a navy blue coat with a captain’s hat, and he says “quite” a lot. His great-grandfather discovered the toilet paper plant somewhere in Guatemala, and forced local tribesmen into slavery to collect it onto cardboard rolls and send them to IGA. But they’re not fast enough, so I resort to washcloths.

Anyway. I decided to stop eating at Chipotle so much. I tried going to Qdoba once instead to fool my intestines, but they weren’t fooled. They just exploded again, but in a slightly less tasty way, and farther north.

You will probably not find much royalty at Chipotle. Unless you live in a weird area that has RC on tap. Because you never hear a Princess say “Oh heavens, I do believe I’ve shit myself!” Bring me the golden chamber pot. This one’s not going to be pleasant. Jeeves? Jeeves! I got something south of the border going south of the border! Get in here and bring your gloves and toothbrush!

And that’s why butlers always have their eyes closed in movies. The end.

Heh get it, the end.